Seth MacFarlane: There was a man who shot the man who was the man who shot the man, Cal Johnson, Cal Johnson. He wore a hat, his favorite hat, he loved that hat, he hated hats, Cal Johnson, Cal Johnson. He was a dad to zero kids and yet he fathered five. He got shot dead a year ago and yet he's still alive. He's rich beyond his wildest dreams, yet never had a dime. A law man to the very end, he led a life of crime. In all his years of life on earth he never fired a gun, Yet when it came to Chinese men he shot down everyone. He had a horse named Bandit and the horse's name was Clyde. Cal Johnson was born the day he died.