Maybeline:
[to Migule Arteta about Jake Gyllenhaal]
Why don't you direct him to love me.
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Jake Gyllenhaal:
Have some independent spirit, all right!
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Adam Carolla:
I wouldn't say this on the radio but I'm gay actually.
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Dave Attell:
There are no nice women in bars anymore, they're all dirty skanks.
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Gundealer:
Curtis is looking to make an artistic statement with his suicide.
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Gundealer #3:
Van Gogh would go with a Glock, ten-millimeter, caseless rounds, titanium action.
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Kevin's Father: Marriage is a cooperative... you suffer together: I want you to hurt like I do.