Duncan: I had planned the perfect weekend: a first-class trip to Paris; our own chauffeur on standby for three days; an executive suite in a five-star hotel with comforts and amenities you couldn't possibly imagine, it even had a balcony with stunning views across the city. I pulled every string I could to get a window seat at a three-star Michelin restaurant. I somehow managed to get two tickets to her favourite opera. I even bought a twilight trip down the Seine with music, champagne, the works!... And you know what? The minute we arrived I knew it was going to be a fucking disaster.