Tom Adkins Sr.: My biggest fear is that when I do find him, what's left of us may not be enough. I haven't been able to forgive myself, and so I push my wife away. I can't even look her in the eyes, because every time I do, I see my mistakes. So I take the risk of losing everything. Not because I want to, but because I have to. Only then will I have the strength to go to my wife and ask her for forgiveness. And I have to believe that one day she will give it to me.