Louie:
I wanna dip my balls in it.
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Doug:
I'm Doug and I'm out of here.
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Doug:
I'm Doug. I think tying shoes is for sissies.
Captain Monterey Jack:
Hey Doug, if I want to hear foul language I'll go home, I'll turn on Marky Mark and The Funny Bunch.
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Dad:
All's fair in love and war, Timmy.
Timmy:
Which one is this, Dad?
Dad:
Both!
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Barry, Levon:
AAAAWWWW yeah!
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Ms. Grant:
But what about my husband, General Lee, and the country?
Abe Lincoln:
I don't care about America, all I care about is sex and booze and pills. Damn this country and everyone in it.
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Guy in library:
Maybe you should try pants.
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Tammy Wilkins:
I guess I'll keep making these, as long as I stay bored in high school... which shouldn't be a problem, 'cause high school's really boring.
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Kerri:
When you're out there on the court shooting hoops, you want a shoe that's gonna give you an edge. You want a sneaker that makes piggy sounds every time you step down on the heel. And that's just what our shoes do: they make piggy sounds every time you step down on the heel. Piggy-Shoes: they make piggy sounds every time you step down on the heel. Isn't it about time your shoes made sounds like a piggy from the heel when you stepped down on 'm?
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Kevin:
[singing]
It's a marvelous day at the porcupine racetrack; we'll watch them little porkies run! The sun, the track and porcupines!
Kerri:
[singing]
A recipe for fun!
Ben:
Racing form, Mr. Johnson?
Kevin:
Why, thank you, Jimmy! Here, get yourself a licorice whip!
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Michael Showalter:
[echoing]
Let's consider the gate "off-limits"... as a favor to me...
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Kerri:
Before I found Fluffy-Soft, my clothes weren't half as soft as they are now!
Bear Puppet:
Because Fluffy-Soft...
[Kerri sees it, screams and beats the crap out of it with the iron]
Bear Puppet:
.
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Various: I'm going to take a handful of bumpy chicks and loose them into my pants!